


The Talk

by Lovedinsecret



Series: Come As You Are [3]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Aged Up, Billy is a good brother, lets embarrass everyone, the sex talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24383056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lovedinsecret/pseuds/Lovedinsecret
Summary: Soon after Max's pregnancy scare, they decide to have a conversation with The Party.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair
Series: Come As You Are [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1732933
Comments: 13
Kudos: 105





	The Talk

Robin is singing Twist and Shout in the kitchen as she stirs a pot, making dinner. Her voice is bright, happy, and a bit punchy too. Pleased with herself, Billy would say. To be honest, he’s kind of pleased with himself too. What tonight entails is going to be…fun. Maybe. Should be, anyway. Embarrassing the little shits is always fun. She’s dancing too, completely oblivious that anyone else is watching. He knows what she looks like when she’s aware that she has an audience. Has seen her dancing at clubs enough times to be able to tell the difference. Has seen her drunk and dancing with Steve in their living room more times than he dares to count. This is not like either of those things.

He’s at the dining table, making notes about what needs to be discussed tonight. Normally he wouldn’t bother, he’s not that anal retentive, and doing so definitely makes him feel a little Nancyish. Perhaps he’s finally understanding what Steve meant when he said he had a type. He’d been offended when Steve first said it, but he’d also been a bit more sensitive about his relationship with Steve at that time too. Never fully trusting that Steve was _in this_ when he said he was. Never fully believing the _I love you’s_ that Steve threw around like candy. Oh, he gobbled them up, got all mushy inside and melted, sure. But, he was also always waiting on Steve to wake up one morning and realize that this was a phase or something. It was a dick move, but then again, Billy is still kind of a dick sometimes, so. He believes Steve now, which is the point of the whole thing.

Regardless, he’s making notes because as fun as it is to embarrass The Party, he also doesn’t ever want to talk about this again. It’s not his job. It should be their parents’ job, but at least this way it will get done correctly. There will not be the stilted and awkward “no sex before marriage” threat when clearly that ship has sailed, or the singular warning to wear a condom while the kid is begging for the floor to open up and eat them alive and the parent is just staring at a point in the wall. Not that he really knows what that conversation is supposed to look like. His only basis for comparison is hearsay from both Steve and Robin. Their ‘talks’ with the parents had gone completely different to what he experienced. Neil told him quite sternly when he was twelve, that if he ever got a girl pregnant it would be the last thing he ever did. When Neil found out he was gay, he threw him down the stairs and then they packed up all of their shit to move to the middle of Nowhere Indiana so that his queer son could be road hauled by a bunch of hicks if he stepped a toe out of line. Or at least that was Neil’s thinking. Turns out Hawkins is dangerous and yes, Billy certainly did almost die, but not because the town came after him with pitchforks for daring to not be straight. Some people might not like it, but they know better. Billy raised enough hell in his senior year to gain a reputation that stuck for being a guy you don’t want to fuck with, and Steve’s father is a well known lawyer that owns over half the town. People think twice when they know that they are equally as likely to get sued as they are to have their ass kicked and then get sued.

Steve’s sharing the table with him, though he’s not sitting. Instead he is making good on his promise of goodie bags. They’d had to drive a few hours to the outskirts of Indianapolis to go to a seedy looking sex shop to procure the items that Steve is tucking away into colorful giftbags he bought from Melvald’s. Billy wonders what he told Joyce when he bought them. He’s certain that she can’t possibly know that they are being used to hold lube, condoms, and the dental dams Robin insisted on.

“Does El like cherry?” Steve asks, pulling Billy’s attention away from his notes.

“No, she likes blue raspberry. Don’t you remember last summer when her mouth was stained blue from those fucking ice pops?” Billy says. It was only memorable to him because the blatant lusty look Wheeler would give her every time she ate one made him fucking insane. He nearly kicked his ass seventeen times over the course of those three months.

“Shit.” Steve says, frowning.

“What?” Billy finally looks up.

“Well, I was going to give the blue raspberry one to Dustin. But you’re right about El. I should have made a list before we went to the store.”

“Give Max the cherry, Dustin the lime, and El the blue raspberry. Problem solved.” Billy says because Steve has the bottles sat in front of the bags while he debates before he commits.

“This is why I said we should have just bought those two fishbowls of the single use packets. Give them a variety.” Robin singsongs from her spot at the stove.

“You literally said that as we were driving back _into_ Hawkins and I wasn’t about to go back.” Steve rolls his eyes and huffs. “If you had said it _at the store_ you know _when it was important_ then maybe that comment would be allowed.”

“Condoms and lube were an obvious buy, but I still am not sold on this idea of giving them _flavored_ lube. Can’t we draw the line somewhere?” Billy grumbles, leaning back. It is his sister he’s giving this to, after all, and El, who might as well be his sister with how bonded they are now. It makes him feel a bit weird inside if the thinks too hard about it, has to resist the urge to wrap them in bubble wrap and stick a sign in front of them saying ‘no looking’. But this isn’t the 50’s. And it’s not like Robin was successful in convincing Steve that he needed to get the girls vibrators. Because thankfully there is a line somewhere, and buying sex toys for teenage girls is Steve’s. He adds that to the list he’s making though, because he knows Robin is going to talk about it. 

“What’s Dustin’s saying about locked doors?” Robin asks.

“I’m not saying lock the curiosity door, dipshit, I am saying I don’t want to _think_ about them giving oral sex, Robin.” Billy glares in her general direction. “What else are they going to do with six ounces of flavored lube?”

“I guarantee you that Dustin is going to just eat at least some of it.” Steve says, tucking bottles into the bags.

“Gross.” Billy shudders. Like he loves lube, too much probably. Loves making a slippery mess. But like, you can’t _do_ that with flavored lube and have it not be disgusting. It’s not candy. The idea of Dustin upending the bottle in his mouth is revolting, because he knows from experience what too much flavored lube is like.

“If you would have told me Junior year that Billy Hargrove, the heartthrob of Hawkins high, would turn out to be the prude in this group, I wouldn’t have believed you.” Robin snorts.

“I ate Steve out _this morning._ I’m not a fucking prude, Buckley.”

“ _Dude.”_ Steve hisses, glaring, cheeks turning that beautiful pink that Billy loves so much. Billy blows a kiss at him.

“I stand corrected.” Robin says, smirking at Steve’s red face.

About an hour later, their house is full of teenage screeching, but not because they’ve sat them down for this discussion yet. No, they’ve planned it out meticulously. Let them get their screeching out now, their petty arguments over which superhero should be able to do this hypothetical thing, the merits of one weapon over another, all things Billy would have thought that they would have grown out of by now, but haven’t. Offer them dinner, and when they’ve been lulled into a state of safety and security, provided food and shelter, that’s when they will spring the trap. Robin looks like she’s had entirely too much caffeine, she’s so ready, eyes bright and wide, smile just slightly unhinged. No one notices.

Even though there’s an event on the horizon, Billy can’t help but be pulled into it too. _This_ is family. It had taken him a long time to come around to that idea, of using that term for the comfort it brings, but it’s right, is the thing. It’s chaos and it’s entirely too loud but when push comes to shove, these are the people in his corner. Of course there are others too, Mrs. Henderson, for instance, who’s become practically a second mom to him. Hopper. Joyce. To a lesser extent, he would even extend a small part of that title to Mrs. Harrington. She’s a bit cold, and entirely too stuck up, but, she genuinely loves her son, and has been supportive of Billy as well. Not to mention if it wasn’t for her, he wouldn’t have Steve, who he adores. Mr. Harrington, however, is a bit of a different story. Billy won’t allow him in the house, but they still see him on the holidays.

After the meal, the kids don’t notice Steve getting up to go to the bedroom. Billy has pulled the chairs from the dining room to allow extra places to sit. He’s sitting next to Robin, notes in hand, and there’s an empty chair for Steve to take when he returns.

“Oh shut up with your stupid boy nonsense, Wonder Woman is the best. End of discussion.” Max says, more passionately than Billy expects out of her.

“She’s right.” El agrees and nods with her lips pursed.

“Like hell.” Mike scoffs. “What’s she gunna do, _lasso_ me to death?”

Max opens her mouth to speak but is cut off by Steve slamming the box holding all of the goodie bags down on the coffee table with a satisfying _thunk._

“Oh no.” Max whispers, her face already blushing a shade of scarlet that clashes horribly with her hair, catching sight of the colorful bags. Billy smirks, pleased as punch.

“Oh, yes.” Steve says.

“What’s in the box?” Lucas says leaning forward.

“We have to go home, _now.”_ Max responds, grabbing his hand and standing up, only to have Steve block her way to the door.

“I don’t think so, Red. Sit down. I told you this was coming.”

“What’s coming?” Will whispers, tucked into the corner of the couch.

“What is this, an ambush?” Dustin says, but he looks conflicted. On one hand it’s Steve, whom he trusts and adores above most people, on the other, the rest of The Party have grown noticeably uncomfortable in the wake of Max’s reaction.

Billy nods, shark grin slipping into place as he leans forward. “Oh, think of it as a learning experience.”

“You can’t hold us here, we outnumber you.” Lucas pipes up, the look clear on his face that Billy’s body language is making him uncomfortable. Which, Billy thinks, is good, because he hasn’t gotten to lay into the little shit for the pregnancy scare and the night is young.

“Sure, if you wanna _walk_ home. In Hawkins. In the dark. Seems safe, doesn’t it?” Robin says, and sure, maybe it’s a bit cruel to push that pressure point, years after the fact. But it works. She dangles the handful of car keys that she pickpocketed over the course of the evening. It’s a nice touch, Billy has to admit.

“What the hell!” Mike launches out of his seat, glaring down at Robin.

“Oh, good, you can pass out the bags.” Steve smiles, sugary sweet and nudges the box. “There’s one for each of you.” He says before he turns to take his seat next to Billy.

“It has come to our attention that there has been an oversight in your education. We are correcting that. _Tonight.”_ Billy says.

Mike might have shot up to 6’4” in the past few years all while still being gangly as ever, but that has never stopped his mouth from running when it shouldn’t. Billy expects it out of him, and is not surprised when he meets that expectation. “You’re a mechanic. What exactly could you possibly have to teach me that I haven’t learned at Hawkins high?”

And the beauty of it is that Billy doesn’t even have to rise to the bait Mike laid out for him, all he has to do is sit back and grin. It’s Steve who takes offense to it, up and out of his seat, stepping in front of Billy. “One, you don’t fucking talk like that to family, two, you damn sure don’t come into _my_ house and disrespect Billy that way and you know it. So sit down and shut UP! All of you!” And really, it shouldn’t be so hot, Steve near to shouting at Wheeler, cause it happens all the time, but it is, and Billy loves it. God does he ever.

When Mike returns to his seat, El makes a noticeable scooch away from him, she doesn’t like it when he insults Billy either. It’s just about as satisfying as Mike’s pout.

“Mama Steve is maaaaad.” Billy _thinks_ he hears Will say, but he’s so quiet over there that he can’t be certain. He probably said it though. Will makes the best quips so quietly that you have to really be listening to him to appreciate them. He’s like Jonathan in that way, but in Billy’s opinion, better. He’s louder when he turns to Mike and adds, “You do realize he was Valedictorian, right? Like you can’t even insult him correctly.”

“What does that matter?” Mike says, arms crossed and face all scrunched up like he sucked on a lemon.

“Your premise was incorrect, is what he’s getting at.” Dustin interjects.

“ _Enough!”_ Steve bellows. “Or I will make this conversation as painful as possible. Am I clear?”

“Crystal.” Most of them respond at the same time, while Max just scrunches down in her seat. She tilts her head forward so that her hair falls like a curtain to block the outside world before relaxing back, long streaks of brassy blood orange covering her vision.

Steve is no longer gentle as he passes out the giftbags, dumping each unceremoniously into the appropriate lap, causing both El and Will to jerk in surprise at the sudden weight. He tosses the box that held them into the hallway to deal with later and sits down in a huff, crossing his arms and daring the teens to say a word.

Dustin is the one who gathers the courage before the others, whether it’s due to his inherent bravery, or the fact that he’s sure Steve would never hurt him, who’s to say. He peaks in the bag and looks back at them with wide eyes. “Why have you given us—”

“So glad you asked that weird one,” Robin cuts in, clasping her hands together and smiling wide. “They are gifts for each of you, because, apparently, you all are in desperate need of such things. Don’t worry, we will be going over the proper uses and applications in due time.”

“Oh god.” Lucas says, finally cluing into exactly what he was fighting against.

“I told you.” Max hisses.

“You _knew_ about this? Why?” He asks her.

And normally, Billy would enjoy telling him exactly why, making him feel like the idiot Billy has always known that he was. But… BUT, Max looks kind of pathetic right now in a way that he just can’t take. It’s pulling at that brotherly instinct of his to protect and console, and therefore he certainly can’t throw her under the bus. Because the look she is giving Lucas right now tells Billy that she didn’t tell him about the impromptu visit to her brother’s house in the middle of the night. He probably doesn’t know anything about her being late, or maybe pregnant, or any of that. And airing Max’s dirty laundry is just not something he’s going to do right now.

“Because I warned her shitbird, that’s why. She didn’t believe me until this moment. Funny that.” He smiles, teeth glinting in the low light, even as Steve gives him a little glance of uncertainty about the lie out in the air right now. Friends don’t lie. But brothers do.

Max’s face shifts from embarrassment to shock and then softens to something. No matter how angry El gets if she finds out about the lie, that little expression shift is enough for Billy. It was worth it.

Steve clears his throat and straightens his spine. He looks how Billy imagines he does on Parent Teacher night, exuding calm authority. “This is a safe space, there will be no judgement here. What we want is to help you. There’s a lot of misinformation out there, and you guys are at that age where you are feeling the need to explore. And that’s healthy, and we would never tell you not to. We just want to make sure that when you do…feel the need to explore, that you are doing so safely. I’m sure you’ve heard about AIDS, but that’s not the only danger out there. You are allowed to ask any and all questions that you may have, and we will answer them to the best of our ability.”

Will shocks the shit out of everyone in the room when he shifts in his little perch in the corner of the couch so that he’s leaning forward, raising his hand high. “I have a question.”

“Go on.” Steve gestures with his hand, a small smile curling at his lips, lured into the idea that this will be easier than he thought.

“Jonathan and mom already went over the sex talk with me, I know all about condoms and such, I am not interested in sex. May I leave?” He says in a rush, his cheeks flushing a deep crimson.

“Not a chance, Zombie Boy.” Robin responds. She is the only one who can get away with calling him that. When she first started it, Lucas, Mike, and Dustin had been all up in arms, until Will smiled and high fived her before she tucked him under her arm and gave him a noogie. Will and Robin have a special sort of connection that defies logic and reason, but everyone is grateful for it, Joyce most of all.

El volunteers next, curls bouncing around her shoulders as she tries to shift further into the couch even as she speaks slowly and clearly. “Condoms? I have… trouble with them. Can you…show me?”

Mike looks absolutely mortified next to her, but faces forward, daring the three of them to call him on it. Billy ignores him as he gets up and goes to the kitchen, returning with a rather knobby looking carrot, a banana, and a cucumber.

“Alright, so first lesson? Condoms are a must. At all times. Period. No deviation. No excuses. That’s the most important thing you need to learn tonight other than consent. If the guy doesn’t want to wear a condom, then you shouldn’t be fucking him. He’s an asshole.” Billy proceeds to pull a strip of condoms out of his back pocket and lay them down on the coffee table. He tears one off the strip and opens it. “Look at the way it’s curled in on itself, the reservoir tip here? This is the way it goes on, so pinch this and then,” and he does, leaning forward and showing her with careful movements, slipping it down the banana.

“Now, not all cocks are made equal and a banana is a cliché. So I brought out the others so you can see that the same condoms will still fit the three different sizes. It might put up a fight, but it will still go on, just fuss with it a bit. See?” and he wrangles a condom on the significantly larger cucumber, before working with the carrot that is knobby and curved. “If pressed I can get one over my fist. Latex stretches, okay? Just have some patience, be firm but gentle.”

“Do I wanna know?” Max says.

“Tommy told Carol that he was too big for condoms once. I shoved a condom over my fist to prove him wrong.” He shrugs. He doesn’t mention that he was drunk at the time, around Max’s age, or the fact that he knew that Tommy was lying through his teeth thanks to the locker room. He’d known even then, that if Steve had made that excuse, he wouldn’t have made the spectacle that he did, because Steve would have had a reason. He still would have been wrong, but Tommy was the low end of average, and that was being kind. For him to say that shit to Carol pissed Billy off.

After that they fall into a rhythm, taking turns speaking and answering questions. Billy has to suppress a gag when, as Steve predicted, Dustin pours more lime flavored lube than necessary out onto his palm and licks it up. Dustin actually does gag, but Steve corrects him on the amount that he’s meant to use and the situation seems to right itself from there. The kids are all varied shades of red, except for El who seems to be soaking up this information like a sponge, wide eyed and intrigued. She’s hard to embarrass though, so. Robin does take the girls into Steve and Billy’s room for a private ‘just girls’ conversation. He doesn’t want to know what that entails.

Dustin fiddles in their absence, fingers probably sticky from the lube residue as he rubs and plucks at the knee of his jeans. He won’t look at anyone and Billy isn’t expecting it when he speaks up.

“I have a question.” His voice is much softer than what Billy is used to. It’s not that Dustin as a person grates on Billy’s nerves anymore, but his voice isn’t what Billy considers pleasant. In the beginning it was that higher pitched shrill squeak of puberty, and now it’s shifted lower, but still usually just as demanding.

“Go on, buddy, it’s what we are here for.” Steve encourages.

Dustin hasn’t looked up at either of them yet, is still toying with his knee like it’s some new discovery. “Steve I’ve seen the bruises on your neck before—not the hickeys cause I get _that—_ but the… the other ones. Why?”

“Fuck I need a cigarette.” Billy groans, running his hand through his hair and standing up, only to be pulled back down by Steve who has turned a brilliant shade of red, blushing so fiercely that it is bleeding down the very neck in question. This isn’t what he had in mind when he agreed to this. Making sure that the little shits were armed with enough knowledge to not get themselves into stupid situations? Sure. Provide them stuff so that they didn’t have the excuse that they were too embarrassed to go get condoms? Yeah, fuck it why not. Discussing the intricacies of his own sex life? Especially details like this one? God that wasn’t even on his radar. He groans again, breath huffing out against his hands that he has steepled at his forehead as he slumps down into a curled ball.

“I…” Steve starts, drawing out the ‘I’ for so long that it’s clear that he’s spinning, scrambling to find a way to explain. Billy knows he should help, he just doesn’t know _how._ Despite his reputation, he isn’t like some sort of sex god. Out of the pair of them, Steve was the more experienced one, if numbers counted for anything, which they don’t.

Steve swallows, crosses and uncrosses his legs, and drums his delicate fingers on his knees before he starts again. “Sometimes people like things that don’t make sense, that don’t fit the norm. And…as long as they are _safe_ about it and have a willing partner that they trust, it doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah, no, I get that, but like…” Dustin flounders, brows pinching. “Steve I was worried. I thought…and then I hated myself for thinking it. And like…is there a difference between…m-my dad and Neil and well, _that?_ ” Dustin says in a rush.

“Hey, hey, hey no.” Steve is quick to halt that line of thinking with a soft rushed coo, and that’s good because Billy wants to…well, dying isn’t an option, but it’s becoming one. The fact that Dustin could wonder makes him feel sick inside. “I _asked_ him to do that, okay? Like, argh, I did not want to get into this, but I can’t have you thinking that they are even remotely the same things. Your father and Neil are fucking assholes, okay? Garbage monsters. Fuck them. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes stuff just gets to be too much for me, alright? Like I can’t fully explain it, and I’ve tried. But Billy knows by now, he knows the signs. When I get like that, I’ll end up working myself up into a panic attack or something if I can’t take the edge off, and I don’t know why it works. But it just…calms down my brain or something. It takes things out of my control. Even though, like, I am still _in_ control. And I am sure that crackpot Freud would have a field day with me, but the err, well, the choking thing? The lack of control? I didn’t need it until after the Russians. I… It’s fucked up. I dunno. But it helps, and I like it, and he’s…Billy knows what he’s doing.”

“Huh,” Dustin nods. “So like a trauma response thing?”

“In my case, sure. But it’s not a new thing and some people just _like_ it. And that’s okay. Seriously. _Explore_ and figure out what you like, you might try something and hate it, or you might find out that it really does it for you. As long as you are being safe and consensual, there are no real wrong answers. Everyone is different, that’s the beauty of it.” Steve finishes.

“Except a flanged base.” Robin says, bringing the girls back into the living room. “ _Always_ use something with a flanged base. Otherwise you risk embarrassing trips to the hospital.”

“I think that ties in with being safe.” Steve grumbles.

“I’m pretty sure Nurse Janet can attest that people think they are being safe when really they aren’t. It may look ribbed for pleasure but if there isn’t a base it can get lost in your body.”

Billy cracks up, he can’t help it. It’s all so much. On top of that, Robin is right. Nurse Janet has told him _stories_ back when he was stuck in the hospital. She was his favorite because of the insane things she’d tell him about the weird hicks in this town and just how _not_ straight laced they are behind closed doors.

“Well, I think we are done here.” Steve huffs out.

“Oh, thank god.” Max says. “Now that we’ve been properly traumatized, can we have our keys back and leave this god forsaken place?”

“Here, here.” Mike agrees, greedy hands reaching out to Robin.

“Fine.” She rolls her eyes. “But you know where to find us if you have other questions.”

“Yeah, I think I need to bleach my mind first though,” Will drawls, pulling himself into a standing position.

They all shuffle out, no hugs this time, though usually it’s so many that Billy gets itchy from the constant affection and has to shove them away. All in all, he can’t really complain with how the talk went.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written at the request of my boyfriend who couldn't stop laughing at the idea. I hope everyone enjoys it.


End file.
